Dream to Sail, Sail to Dream.
What a cat, a sailor named Oliver, and the ocean have taught me about my future.
Along with 1.3 million others, I now follow ‘sailing_with_Phoenix’.
Oliver left his corporate job to pursue his dream of sailing around the world. Phoenix is both the boat, and the cat. Yes, I also spent the last week thinking he was Phoenix.
I’m totally captivated by his story. Escaping the ‘daily grind’. Chasing a dream. Setting sail in the unknown. He talks of his “blind faith in a better life”. He describes his adventure around the world as a “wild and impossible dream”. He quit his job to “finally choose a life worth living”.
The story is like adventure porn with a salted edge. So of course, we all utterly intoxicated! And, we want more!
Why We’re all Hooked
What is it that’s so captivating about Oliver?
Well, for starters, it’s like a good escape story. Oliver and Phoenix broke free - to sea! And in doing so, they embody our shared human desire for freedom and independence. That endless horizon. The realm of possibility.
Oliver’s rejection of our societal 9-5 structure has an air of resistance to it. And who doesn’t love to love the prisoner who breaks free and ‘stands up for what is right’, even if it’s against the ‘rules’.
And the fact that Oliver didn’t know how to sail is perfect - now he symbolizes the protagonist who outsmarted the seemingly impossible prison walls, which in his case was not knowing how to sail, and by proxy sends his audience our favourite optimistic message:
‘You are resilient! You are strong! Anything is possible!’.
The Sea is a Harbour for Dreams
It’s incredible how universal the ‘Sailing Dream’ is.
I remember realising this early on in my career. I guess if I look back, it’s probably been a key ingredient to the secret sauce of my ‘success’. That is - identifying, that in the end, what we all care most about is ‘the dream’.
I was lucky. I actually found - and still find - the job of enabling people on their dream-quests - fun! It’s a total guilty pleasure to follow Oliver and the Phoenixes on their journey. And it’s been totally addictive to watch people pursue their best life throughout my career. I enjoy (mostly) my days at work, and am so grateful that I get to extend my reach via SALTED.
After spending so many years witnessing others on a similar path, I find myself wondering … what will happen to Oliver and Phoenix?
The sea has remarkable way of changing us - just as I’m sure any ‘Great Escape’ would do. Not everyone steps back onshore the same person they stepped onboard.
They become salted: fundamentally psychologically changed. Sometimes forever.
Coincidentally, I was recommended to read ‘Sea Fever’ recently. Is that what those SALTED amongst us suffer from? A deep incurable soul connection to the ocean.
Causes: spend enough time away from shore.
Risks: land never quite feels fulfilling any more.
Cures: none.
I can’t help but think - Oliver (probably not Phoenix) will soon suffer the same fate. Fate? Yes … a salted life - is for life.
Oh how deeply I understand the longing for life aboard a ship and the freedom that comes with it…
The constructs of our society don’t have much space for those of us with what I would call a ‘wilderness within’ - wild energy you could say. Who relates? I’d argue, it’s inside all of us. Some of us are just better at taming it.
Which we all have to do - to an extent; confine our inherent nature to be wild. I guess it’s a choice. But the alternative option has pretty tough social repercussions. And, in compressing our spirit, we feel like anyone would feel like when they are restrained and restricted - a dullness, a sense of disconnection, unmotivated - just a bit … beige.
Whereas at sea, life turns into colour! Just as Mansfield describes. Life intensifies as the rhythm of the ocean sets in. We start to mirror the vibrancy and energy of nature. Deeper relaxation. Bellies alight will flames of passion and excitement. Deep love and connection with living beings - that which would take years to build on land can bloom in days at sea.
The separation from society, from the internet, distractions, ‘shoulds’ and ‘ought's’, from make-up and other disguises, from control and the illusion of the ‘known’ - returns sea-people to their truths.
What one values, who one loves, how one sees oneself without comparison, what one wants and what doesn’t serve - it’s all becomes clearer at sea.
When the Dream Shifts
The sea can feel like home. Like a return to an ancestral version of yourself. A feeling of belonging in the world and in your skin. And as that sense safety sinks in, despite the world being apparently more ‘dangerous’, it’s easy to find oneself dreaming of alternative futures.
Which is funny … going to sea is ‘the dream’. And yet, at sea, dreams change. As one climbs to the pinnacle of fulfilment, naturally a new summit emerges. The realm of possibility now increased.
As the horizon expands, so does the imagination. “How could life be even more different?” it’s easy to find oneself asking.
So, I’d guess Oliver and Phoenix (maybe not Phoenix?) are - like we all would be - at the beginning of journey of dreams. They will start to see life from the ‘other side’. And fulfilment from the ‘normal’ won’t possible any more.
I hope they return and share their perspective.
Confession: I Haven’t Lived Mine.
In writing about dreams, I’ve realised a hard truth to admit: I’ve spent all this time sailing, and helping people pursue their dream - yet, I haven’t lived mine yet.
I fear saying that out loud. As if I’ll let people down. Just as I am inspired by Oliver for living his dream, perhaps people think the same of me? Now I’ve disappointed you…
I adore sailing more than anything. I love my job. It continues to fulfil me, deeply. And in paving this path for myself, I suppose I have pursued my best working life.
But my job isn’t the dream.
Maybe you Don’t know Yours Yet Either
For many people, especially young people, ‘The Dream’ - the ‘what do you want to do when you grow up’ question - the pursuit of a passion or a purpose - is really, really difficult. They find themselves feeling directionless. Inadequate - because they don’t have a dream. In fact, I think it’s a problem.
On reflection, I didn’t have a dream until recently. I went sailing, and found my dream.
Sailing helped me release the straight jacket of my conventional middle class upbringing. It helped me connect with my truths and my wild energy. It introduced me to what a truly fulfilling day can feel like.
If I could influence you…
…it would be to encourage you to be brave.
Pave a different path for yourself away from the ‘norm’. Even if you don’t know where you are going, you will discover so much more than staying imprisoned in someone elses’ construct of what life ‘should’ be.
So, my dream?
“I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky”
“And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover”
To one day, enjoy the greatest loves of my life all in one place - family, friends, and the salted bliss of life at sea - for myself.
Another wonderful, insightful read, Nikki. These two paragraphs hit particularly "hard" for me.
"The constructs of our society don’t have much space for those of us with what I would call a ‘wilderness within’ - wild energy you could say. Who relates? I’d argue, it’s inside all of us. Some of us are just better at taming it.
"Which we all have to do - to an extent; confine our inherent nature to be wild. I guess it’s a choice. But the alternative option has pretty tough social repercussions. And, in compressing our spirit, we feel like anyone would feel like when they are restrained and restricted - a dullness, a sense of disconnection, unmotivated - just a bit … beige."
It's that Horizon--Hearth polarity I'm struggling with!
The post also reminded me of a poem about mountain climbing by Rene Daumal.
One cannot stay on the summit forever -
One has to come down again.
So why bother in the first place? Just this.
What is above knows what is below -
But what is below does not know what is above
One climb, one sees-
One descends and sees no longer
But one has seen!
There is an art of conducting one's self in
The lower regions by the memory of
What one saw higher up.
When one can no longer see,
One does at least still know.
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You could put sailing in there for climbing and I think it shows the universal value of not taming our wild side to the extent that life becomes...beige. While most of us can't (or choose not to) live life 100% wild, we can still benefit from those wild moments few get to experience even when we're back from the adventure.
Thanks for this Nikki, it’s a great reminder that knowing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s the key to everything else. My wife just starting watching Oliver’s adventure and while I wouldn’t want to be on his content creation treadmill I’m glad he’s doing it.